New Recruits - New Horizons
by TheHatchet27
Summary: Haruhi thinks that in order to accomplish the mission of the SOS Brigade they need to recruit more members! But the person who appears is someone that no one would have expected. Rating subject to change - read at your own risk.
1. New Recruits

_**So, this is a Kyon centric fanfic, also the first story I have decided to upload. I've started on a few others but they kind of got put on hold. I'm looking for feedback to let me know how much to continue on with this story. I've got a pretty good idea where I want this ****story to end up, but the more feedback I get, the longer it'll go. So, enjoy the story, and let me know what you think!**_

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**Chapter I - New Recruits**

The sound of the bell ringing echoed through the school, and unfortunately disturbed my peaceful slumber. Raising my head, I looked around groggily to realize it was the end of yet another school day.

Our teacher went on rambling about homework or something, not that I was really listening, so I just packed up all my stuff and made my way out of the classroom.

Traipsing mindlessly through the halls on my way to the clubroom, I came to a somewhat disturbing and unsettling reality. I had become dependant on the SOS Brigade. As much as I hated to admit it, the ritual know as the SOS Brigade had become as much a part of my daily life as my precious sleep. The room with Nagato reading quietly in the corner, Miss Asahina making her sweet and delicious tea, and even that smiling freak Koizumi had become a comfortable and relatively enjoyable environment. Although, missing from this eclectic gathering was the chief, our caring totalitarian leader, the head of the SOS Brigade herself, Haruhi Suzumiya.

If she wasn't busy harassing poor Miss Asahina in one of many ways, she was ordering me around like some kind of slave, as if I were her own personal servant. Although when I think about, that is more or less what I have become. Haruhi has come to use me, or not come to use me, ever since we first met she has used me however she saw fit, which is usually not a good thing for me. Although I am one of the founders of the SOS Brigade (albeit reluctantly), somehow I am the lowest ranking member, and I doubt that will ever change. The only reason that kiss-ass Koizumi is respected by Haruhi is because he does whatever she wants without question, and with that damn smile plastered on his face to boot.

In the end, I'm forced to do whatever Haruhi demands of me, but I figure if I put up some kind of resistance it will give me the illusion that I still have a choice in the matter. Ultimately though, I will become nothing more than Haruhi's courier/pack mule by the day's end, despite my best efforts.

Even if I had become Haruhi's servant, I have to admit that my life has become much more exciting since I met Haruhi and was press ganged into what is now the SOS Brigade. I have met an esper, a time traveler, and an alien. I've learned that Haruhi is some sort of God apparently, and I've had more fun than I can remember having in a long time. All that aside, I could do without the slave treatment…

Before I knew it I had arrived at the door to the club room, if you could call it that. I still fail to see how we qualify as a club, all we do is get dragged around the city by Haruhi catching cicadas and eating occasionally, and when we do eat I always have to pay…

The most club related activities we've ever done is hand out fliers at the school entrance, and that was only Miss Asahina and Haruhi standing around in bunny suits, that went over very well…

Oh well, most likely today will just be another uneventful day at the clubroom. At least I'll be able to kick Koizumi's ass at chess.

With that thought I opened the door, and was greeted with a familiar scene, just as I expected. Nagato was reading quietly in the corner, as if no one else was in the room at all, Miss Asahina was dressed in her maid outfit brewing some tea, and Koizumi was sitting at the table with his usual plastic smile.

"Yo." I said expressionlessly as I closed the door behind me.

"Good afternoon Kyon. Would you like to play a match of chess?" Koizumi asked as he held up the board.

"Sure." With that, I took my seat across from him at the table while he began to set up the board.

I was able to pass some amount of time in peace and quiet, and I was destroying Koizumi at chess. You'd think he'd be getting better with how often we play, but I guess not. It was my turn again and I chuckled to myself as I took his queen.

"Oh dear, it appears you've gained quite the upper hand, doesn't it Kyon?"

"Yeah." I muttered, but isn't that obvious? I wish that he would wipe that smile of his face for once. No matter what happens it's just plastered there 24/7. Even if he is about to lose this game… Oh well, at least I'll have the satisfaction that I won. I watched again as he moved another piece to its inevitable demise.

"Would you two like some tea?" The angelic voice of Miss Asahina called to us.

"Why yes, thank you Miss Asahina." Koizumi thanked as she placed two cups on the table.

"If you want anymore, just let me know." She smiled, and with that she returned to her tea set.

Ah Miss Asahina's tea, it never failed to brighten my day and make me smile. As I sipped on the tea I felt my entire body warm, as if the tea were my life-force. Ah, I could die a happy man now…

Seemingly on queue to interrupt my lone moment of happiness, the harbinger of my problems and the root cause of my misery burst through the door with so much vigour that I choked on my tea. I guess I should be used to this by now.

"Alright SOS Brigade!" Haruhi shouted (as usual), "We are going to have an emergency meeting right now!"

Marching with authority through the room, she took a stance in front of her desk, hands on hips with a glare in her eyes. That's never a good thing.

"Alright now, let's get down to business! Kyon! Do you know what this Brigade is missing?"

I really hate it when Haruhi asks me questions like this. First of all I really couldn't care less, and no matter what I say I'm always wrong. There's just no pleasing Haruhi Suzumiya.

"I don't know, why don't you ask Koizumi?" I figured there was no way to end this little discussion with victory, so I just decided to end it as quickly as possible, and hopefully passing the question off to Koizumi will fluster him, although that seems unlikely.

"Hmph, unacceptable Kyon! How dare you disappoint your brigade leader like that! I'm going to have to give you a punishment! Koizumi, I hope you have a better answer than Kyon!" she stated as she scowled at me and turned her attention to the esper.

"Unfortunately I do not know what the club is lacking either Miss Suzumiya." Koizumi replied apologetically. "I'm terribly sorry."

"Well, since we have no time to waste I guess I'll just tell you!" Haruhi exclaimed as she placed her hand back on her hips.

Wait a second, how come I'm the only one who gets a penalty? Koizumi didn't give any suggestions either! That kiss-ass will get what's coming to him sooner or later, but I won't question Haruhi about this, I've learned that it's futile to question her rule long ago.

"We, the SOS Brigade, need to recruit more members!" An unsettling smile spread across her face as she finished her statement.

Well, here we are again, the time where Haruhi demands that we find more members. Our club has experienced this before, and it has always ended in absolute failure. Apart from us five no one has wanted to join the SOS Brigade, and even stating that we all wanted to be members is far from the truth.

I was forced into service because the fate of the world is at state, and if I had declined the "generous offer" we would have all died.

Miss Asahina joined as a direct result of Haruhi's slavery, apparently because the group was in need of a cute mascot. While I'm not going to argue with Haruhi's choice of candidate, it's just wrong to force someone to join a club, especially if the club is like the SOS Brigade.

Koizumi is here because of his mysterious organization. For some bizarre reason they chose him, out of all the possible espers, to watch closely over Haruhi. Although I have come to think that him being here may be a result of Haruhi simply wanting someone who is superior to me in every aspect (except board games) to piss me off all the time.

Nagato is here for a similar reason to Koizumi, but it seems as if she just… is there. She was the only remaining member of the literature club, and when Haruhi decided to seize control of this room, she just stayed, as if she were an accessory that came with the space.

Out of the four subordinates only two seem like they really don't mind being part of the club.

Koizumi just takes whatever Haruhi dishes out, compliments her on her terrible ideas, and encourages her no matter what she does. I guess it's fair to say that he is content being here, considering he will kiss anyone's ass.

Nagato may not be on the same level as Koizumi, but I can't say that she objects to being a member of the club either. I imagine it would be hard for her though, considering she is an alien and her purpose (from what I can understand at least) is to collect data on Haruhi.

The bottom line is that if not all of the current member of the club want to be a part of it in the first place, why go looking for more people to force into service against? I though slavery had already been abolished.

"Look at what has become of the mighty SOS Brigade!" Haruhi snapped me back to reality with her ramblings. "All we do here everyday is sit around! The purpose of the SOS Brigade is to find all sorts of unusual things in the world, and to accomplish this we need more members!"

It became obvious to me that no one was going to step up and halt this madness, I mean look who I have to back me up here.

Koizumi, no way would he go against Haruhi's wishes, he believes that she's God. Nope he'll do whatever he can to suck up to her, pointing out a flaw in one of her ridiculous plans is out of the question.

Miss Asahina, she's too terrified of Haruhi to even help herself, it's really not fair of me to rely on her to help me out of this situation.

Nagato, while she could do anything, including stop this without any effort at all, I'm sure she would say that actions such as those would bring about some natural disaster some time over the course of the next 10 000 years. Nope, her job here is to observe Haruhi, not to make my life easier.

"Haruhi," I began, "we tried this before remember? You and Miss Asahina stood outside the school gates handing out fliers to try to promote the club, remember how well that turned out?"

"I don't mean doing that again!" she exclaimed, "The school had a problem with that or something, so we need to do things differently this time!"

"Haruhi I don't think that's the main issue here. Don't you think that if anyone wanted to join our club they would have by now?"

"I have to agree with Kyon Miss Suzumiya." Koizumi interjected, "The SOS Brigade is fairly well-known, and any possible members most likely would have contacted us already."

"Hmph, well this is no good! Even if we could get just one more member, someone like Kyon, I would be happy." She sighed as she sat down on her desk.

Did she just say that she wants another member in the SOS Brigade that's like me? Did she mean that as a compliment, because that would be the first time I've heard, well, anything positive about me from her. This is incredible! Haruhi is saying that I'm actually an asset to this club. (I really should have know better than that).

"I mean we really do need someone else here to do the dirty work. Every time I send Kyon out on an errand he fails miserably!"

Yeah I thought something was up, I should have know that Haruhi would never openly compliment me on anything, and what does she mean when she says I can never complete her errands, I do my best!

"Sorry that I don't complete your tasks to your liking, but why can't you get Koizumi to help with that kind of stuff?" I questioned.

"There's no way Koizumi could do any of that! He's way too high-ranking to bother himself with such menial tasks." She stated blatantly. "That's what you're here for Kyon! Do I have to spell out everything for you?" She finished, crossing her arms and giving me a frustrated look.

Well, I already knew that I was the slave of the SOS Brigade, and I could live with that, but to have Haruhi tell me that Koizumi, that smug bastard was too good to help me with all my menial tasks was taking it too far. But I'm in no mood to get into a fruitless with Haruhi right now, let's just move on.

I simply sighed heavily and turned my attention away from Haruhi, hoping to end this ridiculous discussion quickly, and It seemed as if my technique worked, although that might be a bit of a stretch. What's more likely is that Haruhi got frustrated and doesn't want to talk to me anymore, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Well that's it for today brigade members, I'm going home! We'll talk about this again tomorrow, don't be late or there will be a penalty!" Haruhi said, as she grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

"Have a good evening Miss Suzumiya." Koizumi said as Haruhi left. What a sell out. "Well I'll be off now too then. Have a good night everyone." Koizumi finished as he closed the door behind him.

I gave him a half-hearted wave as he left, then I looked back to the table where our chess game sat, still in mid phase. Damn that Koizumi, he left before I could finishing kicking his ass at chess!

Reluctantly I packed up the chess game in its box and placed it back on the shelf, I can always beat him again tomorrow right? I really had no reason to stick around any longer, so I decided it would be best to head home and get to sleep.

"I'm going home too, see you all tomorrow."

"Good bye." Came the monotone response from Nagato, who didn't even look up from her book.

"Good night Kyon, be careful on your way home." Miss Asahina said as she waved.

I waved back to them both as I walked out the door and slowly made my way to the entrance of the school.

Making my way down the hill, the long hill, I questioned why this hill was even here. It was such a pain to have to walk up this hill in the morning, and even if going down it was much easier, it was still too big in my opinion. Maybe I could convince Haruhi to dislike this hill too, so she would change it. I've never heard her complain about this hill though, and it's too much of a challenge to change her mind about anything. Either way this is too much to think about.

Making the rest of the way home in mental silence was kind of peaceful. I don't get much of a chance to relax anymore with Haruhi around, so it's nice whenever I can get the respite.

Arriving back home I made my way up to my room as quickly as possible, the last thing I wanted right now was to get roped into some game with my little sister and shamisen.

I dropped my bag by the door, hung up my uniform and let myself fall onto my bed. I feared what Haruhi's discussion would bring tomorrow, and shuddered at the thought or more people joining the SOS Brigade. If anyone new were to join it would mean that they actually enjoy what Haruhi does, anyone who's like Haruhi spells bad news for me.

Then I remembered what Haruhi said, "someone like Kyon". I wouldn't mind if there was someone else like me in the SOS Brigade, at least then there would be another sane and normal human to talk to. I'm sure they'd understand how ridiculous Haruhi's schemes are too. Wouldn't hurt if it was a cute girl either, maybe even one with a ponytail…

And with that thought ,I drifted off to sleep, not knowing at all what the following morning would bring.

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_**Well, there it is, the first chapter. Next one should be up very, very shortly. Leave a review if you feel like it, it'll help this story to grow!**_


	2. Sudden Arrival

_**Second chapter, a little shorter than the first, but not by much. I wanted to upload these two at the same time but for some reason I didn't. Anyway this is where the story really kicks off so enjoy!**_

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**Chapter II - Sudden Arrival**

I was awoken in the morning the same way I usually am, by my hyperactive sister who sees fit to interrupt my slumber in the same way that bell does everyday at school. Just like every other day, shortly before my alarm goes off, the door to my room burst open and my sister charged in.

"Wake up Kyon! Come on get up! Get up! Get up! You're gonna be late for school! Wake up Kyon! Wake up!" She cried as she jumped up and down on my bed and pounded on my body.

Apparently she thought that this wasn't getting the message across so she pulled on my sheets until I rolled off my bed and onto the floor.

"Okay, alright I'm up." I said annoyed as I crawled out of my covers and picked myself up off the ground. "Do you think there's a change you can let me wake up normally for once?" I questioned as I gave her and exasperated and tired look.

"He he he, silly Kyon! Someone needs to wake you up in the morning or you'll miss school!" She smiled and picked up Shamisen. "Come on Shami! Lets go have breakfast!" She said enthusiastically as she ran out the door.

I wish I could be as carefree and easygoing as her, but I guess I wasn't so different when I was her age. Things did have to change though. I should really get ready for school now though.

I stretched and let out a long yawn before making my way to the washroom at the end of the hall. Taking a look in the mirror I saw my tired face staring back, and my messy hair sticking out everywhere. I washed my face in an attempt to wake myself up, and it was then that I remembered what Haruhi had said at the clubroom yesterday. That she wanted to find more members for the SOS Brigade, and that we would talk more about it today.

I shuddered at the though as I continued to wash my face.

Why did we need to talk about getting new members again? It wasn't going to happen. The case is closed. No one wants to join the SOS Brigade, and for fairly obvious reason.

We advertise ourselves as a group who looks for supernatural phenomenon. Well that's acceptable enough, but we have to add on the fact that our club is led by Haruhi Suzumiya, possibly one of the most unapproachable human beings on the face of the Earth. She will let you know if she doesn't like you and will hold nothing back.

Couple this with her reputation and that I have experienced first hand the lengths she will go to in order to extort people to get what she wants, it just doesn't create a very welcoming environment for even the hardiest of individuals.

Trying to get someone to join the SOS Brigade is like trying to fry an egg on ice, it just won't work. No matter how hard you try or how long you wait that egg is never going to fry. That ice will melt before the egg even has a chance. You're better off to pass by the ice, egg in hand without even giving it a glance, because the mere idea of it will pervert your existence, and you won't be able to go back.

In conclusion, there is no way we are going to find willing members to join the SOS Brigade. Although I don't think that Haruhi would be terribly upset if the members weren't entirely willing, that's what most of the brigade is anyway.

Surrendering to the fact that I will have to face yet another onslaught of Haruhi logic, possibly culminating in the acquisition of yet more slaves, I dried off my face and made my way back to my room to change.

Maybe if we gained enough normal people as members we could stage a coup and overthrow Haruhi. A rebellion sounds like a good idea. Yes, a change in regime is definitely needed.

Any thoughts of this possible rebellion were immediately dashed and forgotten when I re-entered my room. Everything seemed normal except for one small, little detail.

There was a girl laying in my bed.

No, not my sister, it was a girl.

Okay my sister is a girl but, not like… I'm sure you understand.

This girl who was in my bed was just laying there, sleeping. Being logical I tried to think of how she had gotten there. I couldn't have been in the washroom for more than five minutes, so where did she come from?

Maybe it's just a dream, always a possibility right?

It seems this is the route that people will often take when faced with something undesirable or simply something they can't comprehend. Believing you are in a dream is something easy to do and provides an immediate and simple answer for everything. Here I see an unfamiliar girl sleeping in my bed, the very same bed that was vacant when I left five minutes ago. I don't understand this, therefore I must be asleep. There we go, problem solved, so just close your eyes, open them and it'll be gone.

Or not.

Upon re-opening my eyes the person in question was still there sleeping peacefully.

One thing I forgot to consider is that you never question anything in your dream while you're dreaming. Think about it, imagine your last dream. Everything makes perfect sense in your dream world, nothing seems strange at all, until suddenly you wake up and think, "what the hell was that?"

And just like that, I have disproven the "this is a dream" as a reasonable conclusion for anything. I will never use this option again.

Back to reality (I think). I stood there in my doorway with what I imagine to be a look of confusion and shock on my face, because that is exactly what I saw looking back at me.

The girl stirred, opened her eyes, looked at me with confusion, followed by shock and there was silence until we said simultaneously.

"Who the hell are you?"

The silence returned after that outburst, we just continued to stare at one another.

I could now have a better look at this mystery girl lying in my bed. She was rather small, had long brown hair that was just as messy as mine, but what struck me was her face. It looked just like the one I saw staring back at me in the mirror moments ago.

She broke the silence by asking, "What's your name?"

As unfortunate as this is, I replied to the question using my nickname. I'm not really sure why I didn't use my real name, I guess I've just gotten so used to everyone calling me by my nickname that it has become natural even for me to refer to myself using it. No matter where I go now that's what I'm called, at home, at school, I'm Kyon, so that's what I said, "Kyon."

Her eyes widened a little at this response and she said, "Everyone calls me Kyonko…"

The silence returned yet again, and it was now that I took the chance to look around my room. Everything appeared in order except for a few things.

There was an empty futon lying on the ground where I had left my sheets in a pile after my sister's adventure. That was definitely not there before.

There were two bags sitting by the door at my feet where I had left my lone bag last night. That's different.

Then, on the wall beside my uniform, there was another uniform. Same colour scheme, they looked like they belonged together, except that one had a skirt. I don't think that I hung that up last night.

While I was busy gawking around my room for answers, my little sister came running back in, seemingly indifferent to the situation.

"Kyon, Kyonee-chan hurry up! You're gonna be late for school if you don't hurry!" My little sister exclaimed as she jumped on my bad again and began pulling at the sheets.

It was like watching my sister wake me up, it was exactly the same as what happened to me.

After a short struggle with the pile of cloth she abandoned her quest and retreated from my room laughing and smiling.

I brought myself back to the situation at hand and reality began to set in as I connected the dots.

"So you're… me?" I said as I continued to just stand there.

"Looks like it." She replied as she didn't move either.

I sighed and took a seat beside my occupied bed. "If you're me then you must know who's responsible for this." I said as I looked at the two uniforms hanging side by side.

She nodded as she began to move into a sitting position.

"Haruhi is the only one who could have done this." I stated and turned to look at her.

"Yeah, if anything like this were to happen I would blame Haruki without any doubt."

So in her universe everyone I know must be the opposite gender. Haruki is undoubtedly the male equivalent of Haruhi, now that's a scary thought.

I didn't feel the need to repeat this to my other self, because if I was able to figure it out then she should too, she is me after all.

I would have been surprised at how easily she had come to cope with this had I not remembered that she was me. I'm doing fine in this situation, as strange as that sounds, but spending time with the SOS Brigade tends to desensitize you to these types of situations. If I can understand the situation and stay calm, then her me should have no problem because we're the same person. I'm sure that if I were her me and she were I me, then it would be the same right? I also know that this train of thought uses too many consecutive pronouns.

"Well," I said as I got up and looked back down at myself. "Let's get ready for school then."

I grabbed my uniform and made my way back to the washroom, figuring I would give myself some privacy.

That sounds weird doesn't it? Why would I need to give myself privacy, it shouldn't be strange to see myself naked. The other me is a girl though, so I think it'll be kind of uncomfortable and awkward, even if it is me. Best to leave it at that.

So I changed into my uniform and walked back to my room, and knocked on the door to make sure I was done changing, wouldn't want to walk in on myself. "Can I open the door?" I said as I knocked

"Yeah come on in, I'm almost ready to go."

Opening my door to pick up my bag, the female me was sitting at my desk putting some final touches into her hair, which was up in a ponytail. Figures.

After a quick breakfast we were off to school. I figured that since my sister didn't act strange regarding the sudden appearance of a female me nobody else would either. Unless I blatantly stated that she was me from another universe, I didn't think that we would get much trouble. Even if I did tell anyone that I doubt they would believe me, they would likely think that I had finally lost it after spending so much time with Haruhi.

Not long after we departed from my, or our house I had a question burning in my mind regarding my other self that needed answering. I thought I knew the answer, but I couldn't be sure, even if it was me, so I had to ask. "Do you always have your hair in a ponytail?"

"Most of the time." Was the response she gave. "It's not because it's too much of a hassle style it in other ways or anything, I just like how it looks like this."

I chucked to myself a little as we continued our walk to school. Figures.

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_**Hopefully I haven't stepped on anyone's toes yet with this story. Not sure how long it will be before the next update, so please don't expect anything regular. I'm going to let some comments roll in before I start on anything else, so please leave a review to let me know what you think, thank you and goodnight!**_


	3. Revelations I

_**Alright, here we are, chapter three. I wan't to thank everyone for all the feedback on this story. The reviews have been sooo helpful in getting this story moving, and in general getting me to do things properly. Thanks to an anonymous review I will be reformatting what I've uploaded so far, and Kyonko's Diary entries will be at the beginning of the following chapter, starting with this one. So again, thanks for all the support, and here we go.**_

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**Kyonko's Diary - Entry I**

_I woke up this morning to find that my life had changed overnight. That isn't all that uncommon for me now though, Haruki is basically in control of everyone's life so I shouldn't be too surprised that something like this happened._

_Anyway, this time I didn't even wake up in my own world, but one very similar, only that everyone's genders are reversed. I came to this conclusion when I opened my eyes to see myself staring back at me, looking very confused._

_Well it wasn't me as in Kyonko, but me as in the same person but male, he told me his name was Kyon. That's not his real name, but just like me no one uses his real name and everyone chooses to call him by this degrading nickname, or the male equivalent at least. _

_We were both able to determine that we were indeed the same person fairly quickly, and when his little sister came running into the room there was no doubt in my mind that I was no longer in my world._

_I'm not sure why only I would have ended up here, I didn't think Haruki really disliked me, I think it probably has something to do with his equal in this world that I, er Kyon, called Haruhi. If the Haruhi here is anything like the Haruki I know, which unfortunately is almost a certainty considering the guy standing in front of me, then my reasons for being here may never be discovered._

_Hopefully the fact that his sister didn't think it was weird that there was an unknown female in his brother's room, and the fact that she called me Kyonee-chan, is a sign that no one aside from us will find this strange. I do bet that Nagato, Asahina and Koizumi, well again their equals here in Kyon's world will know what's going on as well, but I'll worry about that when it happens, maybe they can even give me some answers._

_Accepting the situation for the time being we decided it would be best to simply go to school and see where the day takes us. I guess if anyone asks who I am I can pass myself off as Kyon's cousin, that seems like a reasonable enough story._

_I just hope everyone at school already knows who I am, the last thing I want after this stress filled morning is to go through one of those embarrassing introduction speeches when we do get to school. I already did that once, I really don't want to do it again._

_One more thing, on the way to school Kyon asked me if I always have my hair in a ponytail. The question kind of caught me off guard, but I just said I usually do because I like how it looks that way. I just don't think my hair looks as good in its natural state. He didn't really give me a response, but I guess he asked because he has a thing for ponytails. It makes sense to me though, if I as a girl like to style my hair like this, then I as a male should like the way a ponytail looks on a girl. Figures._

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**Chapter III - Revelations I**

Despite the company, the walk to school seemed no different than usual. I thought it was too hot and uncomfortable to be outside, and when we did reach the school, the hill loomed before us like a mocking challenge. I really do hate that hill.

Given no choice, and unable to come to an understanding with the obstacle itself, we began the arduous journey. I wish I could have just left it there, but things went from bad to worse when I heard footsteps approaching from behind and turned around to see none other than Taniguchi running towards us with a stupid look on his face.

"Morning Kyon!" The moron said as he looked at me with the same dumb smile. "Don't you think Suzumiya will be jealous if she sees you walking to school with a girl? I bet she'll punish you for this, even if you are into that kind of stuff." He added with a wink.

"Why don't you mind your own damn business." I said, hoping he would just leave.

"So who is this anyway?" He asked, ogling my counterpart (which, for the record, I found very disturbing).

"She's my cousin, so don't even think about it." I replied disgusted.

"Ehh, not my type anyway. Not enough up top, if you know what I mean." He basically broadcasted to the world. This guy really has no tact does he? "Anyway, I'm off. See ya later!" And with that he pranced off towards the school, thankfully.

"I imagine from the look on your face that the female Taniguchi is in every way as obnoxious and crude as this one I have the displeasure of knowing." I said turning away from my prancing classmate.

"Yeah, the Taniguchi in my world is the same. She even jokes about my breasts all the time." She stated staring off towards the subject in question. "But being told that by him is even more degrading that I'm used to."

"Let's just forget about that sad excuse for a conversation, I try to repress or at least ignore most of what that idiot says anyway."

"I know where your coming from." She added, still glaring at Taniguchi.

The school bell rang in the distance, and the two of us hurried off to class, I didn't want to be responsible for both me and myself being late.

As I took my usual seat I noticed immediately that Haruhi's was empty. What a relief. Haruhi's absence meant that I wouldn't have to sit through her speech on recruiting new club members, but more importantly I wouldn't have to explain the sudden appearance of my long lost cousin.

Unfortunately, for my apparent long lost cousin, the day didn't set off quite as well.

Okabe-sensei addressed the class and said that we had a "new student joining us today." He introduced her as my cousin (my guess was on the mark there), which resulted in the focus of the entire class to be shifted to me in a matter of seconds. I just did my best to ignore it all, which wasn't much of a challenge, and after giving them my best blank and devoid expression; my classmates soon turned their eyes back to the front of the class. I really hoped by this point they would already know they weren't going to get any type of reaction from me.

I did feel kind of bad for myself when she walked out in front of the class and had to do that whole _self-introduction_ thing_. _I know the me in this world doesn't really like being the centre of attention, and the whole _tell us about yourself _section to these introduction speeches is always so contrived and forced, it just doesn't feel comfortable. Who would want to hear about half of the things that anyone does in their spare time anyway?. Taking this into account I imagine the me from her world is the same, and that this situation was one she was hoping to simply avoid all together.

Despite all that, I have to admit it was interesting, or maybe just weird watching me introduce myself. It was like hearing your own voice on a recording and thinking, "Do I really sound like that?", but the speech was short and simple, and my female doppelganger only got a few trailing stares as she found her seat, and the school day began.

The morning classes passed by pretty quickly, not that I remember anything Okabe-sensei was saying, I just looked out the window the whole time. I wonder what I would do without this window, I guess it would make passing time in class a lot more difficult.

All I had to do to confirm that thought was to look over to the new arrival.

She had managed to get stuffed right up in the front row, and I could see her straining to try and make it look like she was paying attention, but it was a loosing battle. I'm sure Okabe-sensei was disappointed to see how much my _cousin _was like me, I'm not exactly a model student after all.

I feel kind of bad for him though. He has already has to deal with my complete lack of interest and motivation every day, and now it's like having two of me in his class. Well actually, that's exactly what it is. Although I'm sure he would take my disinterest over Haruhi's eccentric behaviour any day. I keep to myself, but for our teacher, Haruhi must be a source of never ending unease, this coming from far too much personal experience. It's depressing to realize that I'm an expert in that department…

Fortunately for me, Haruhi wasn't here today! That thought alone brought peace to my mind. A single day in my life without madness was hard to come by these days, but my plans to cherish this moment were dashed when I remembered I had to find out what my female equal was doing in this world. Regardless, that beats getting berated by Haruhi.

I would still have to go to the clubroom, but it's so much more peaceful without her there. The scent of Miss Asahina's tea, her sweet voice resonating through the room, and my chance to wipe that damn smile off Koizumi's face when I crush him at chess!

All those pleasant thoughts passed through my mind as the bell called out again, signaling that lunch has begun.

I looked across the room to myself, and saw that she looked just as relieved that morning classes were over as I was about Haruhi's absence, although it was likely relief on both accounts. I'm sure she'd realized that there was a lack of eccentricity this morning, well during class at least.

The hectic situation this morning was definitely something out of the ordinary, but we can sort that out a little later, more importantly after lunch.

Right, what was I going to eat for lunch? Dammit! All this nonsense that took place distracted me from one of my most important tasks. Getting my lunch. I guess I would have to get something from the cafeteria, and take myself along with me. At least we could talk this thing over a little without worrying about Taniguchi eavesdropping, or just pissing me off. Not to mention I don't think the other me would want to spend more time with Taniguchi after what happened on the way in this morning.

I threw what little school material I had out back into my bag, walked over to her desk and asked, "You didn't bring a lunch did you?", even though I already knew the answer.

"No." She replied, " We were kind of distracted this morning. Let's just head down to the cafeteria and get some ramen."

"You really just want ramen?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, is there something wrong with that?" She looked up at me.

"No, nothing at all." Man, this girl really is me. I thought there would at least be a little bit of a difference in our preferences, but I guess not. Me as a girl sure is simple. "All right, let's go."

As we turned to exit the classroom, a familiar face stood in the doorway, and by familiar I mean a shining, smiling beacon know as Itsuki Koizumi.

"Good afternoon Kyon, Kyonko. I believe we have an important matter to discuss. Would you please come with me?" The esper asked, always smiling.

I guess he does already know what's going on, not really that surprising. And while I was anxious to unravel this mystery, there was something else that I needed to do, something important.

"Can we get our ramen first?"

* * *

Taking a seat outside at that same table where Koizumi first revealed that he was a part of some strange organization that believed Haruhi was a God brought back some familiar feelings. Again we were about to discuss some unimaginable situation that if I were to tell anyone else about, I would most likely be committed and wouldn't see the life of day for decades. I was just supposed to accept the fact and live with it as if it were a normal part of my life, but it was the farthest thing from that. It's just insane!

The familiar feeling was however disrupted by the fact that there were two of me this time, and that was the reason we were here. I imagine Koizumi probably knows everything already, or at least most of it, but he won't be able to do anything about it, just like last time. At least my ramen gives me some comfort.

As Koizumi took his seat across from me, or us, he placed his coffee on the table, just as he did the last time, and smiled at the both of us same as he always does. If he thinks that smile is supposed to help, well it doesn't.

"I imagine the two do you know why I've asked you to speak with me." He paused and smiled his plastic smile. "Clearly a very important event has occurred relating to Miss Suzumiya."

"So you already know this is because of Haruhi." I sighed. There was really no doubt in my mind that this was all Haruhi's fault, but it was nice to confirm my suspicions.

"Yes, it appears that as a result of Miss Suzumiya's desires, a replica of you, Kyon, has appeared in our world. Kyonko here is in every way you. Her mannerisms and preference are everything that you know, she is the female embodiment of you."

As nice as it was to know that I know had someone who thought and behaved exactly like me, it didn't really answer the questions I had. I still didn't know why she was here and what we could do to fix it. Before I had the chance to ask Koizumi personally, I beat myself to the punch.

"But that doesn't answer anything! Why would Haruhi want me in this world in the first place?" She asked.

"Koizumi," I began, "we already know that she ended up here because of Haruhi, likely for some reason that logic can't explain. She's obviously responsible for this, we just don't know why."

As I finished Koizumi shot me a sly smile, which was very disturbing. "Come now Kyon. You're telling me you don't know why Haruhi wanted this? I thought you were smarter than that."

I really didn't need this condescension for Koizumi right now. It was bad enough that I was exposed to his presence everyday, but when he treated my like this it just made me angry. Nonetheless, he continued on.

"Think back to yesterday's meeting. What was it that Haruhi was talking about?"

Haruhi talks about a lot of things, most of which are completely incoherent, or right out insane. Listening to Haruhi talk is usually like hearing someone speak in a foreign language. No matter how hard you try, the inane dribble spewing from her mouth just doesn't make sense, at least not to sane human beings. But unfortunately the people I now associate with are often not sane human beings. One is a kiss-ass esper, one is an alien without emotions, and the other is a nervous time traveler. The most understanding of these would be Miss Asahina, but she's been abused by Haruhi so much that even she may understand what her desires are now.

Considering the usual unusual occurrences at SOS Brigade meetings, the discussion that took place yesterday wasn't outlandish; it's just that the goal presented was impossible. Haruhi had demanded we get new club members. She continued on to say that even someone like myself would be an asset. Although an asset to Haruhi is what's known as a slave by modern standards is know as a slave.

And that was when it hit me. All the pieces fell into place.

Through some twisted and inexplicable means, the female me had entered this world to fulfill Haruhi's desire of a new club member. Someone like me was needed to do all the heavy lifting and dirty work that apparently everyone else was too good for. Just taking out her frustration on me wasn't good enough anymore, so our little group needed a second scapegoat.

Koizumi must have noticed the look of sudden clarity on my face, although I imagine it was obvious, and as he leaned back in his chair, that smile only grew across his face.

"So you realize why Kyonko has appeared in this world then."

My other self was left utterly clueless and was visibly frustrated that she had absolutely no idea what my sudden epiphany was about. "So, why am I here? Don't just keep this all to yourselves!"

I was still aghast at the situation, so Koizumi took it upon himself to inform the third. "Miss Suzumiya desired someone else in the club. She even stated specifically that even someone like Kyon would suffice. You are here to fulfill the desire, and become the latest member of the SOS Brigade, congratulation." He flashed his signature smile.

What does that bastard mean by _even someone like me would suffice_? I do way more work for this club than him, he's just Haruhi's yes man, the guy she knows will never oppose or question anything she says! There's a reason Haruhi didn't make another Koizumi appear in this world you know…

Back to the business at hand though, now that she knows why she is here she can't be too pleased. I remember when I *ahem* _joined _the SOS Brigade, and it was a less than pleasant experience. No one should have to go through that once, let alone twice, except maybe Koizumi. But regardless, I feel sorry for myself.

She seemed to take the news… well she understood why she was here, but I don't think that put her at ease, another thought that was confirmed by what she proceeded to say. "But how does that help me get back? Wouldn't there be a problem in my world if I just vanished all of a sudden? I can't just stay here forever!"

As she finished the outburst, I came out of my daze to hear Koizumi's incredibly helpful advice.

"Unfortunately, I am not sure what effect you're disappearance had, if any, but it is in fact possible that you're disappearance had no effect at all. Miss Suzumiya could have fabricated memories for everyone in your world, and thus you're absence would have had absolutely no effect at all. As to how to return you to your world, I don't know what could be done." As he finished his smile faded a little. Very uncharacteristic for him, and he continued to speak. "One thing we do know is that you were brought here to satisfy Miss Suzumiya, and you are necessary to maintain the balance of the world. You must not do anything to disrupt this, as I'm sure you know that upsetting Miss Suzumiya could put the very existence of our world, and yours in jeopardy."

When Koizumi finished speaking, his smile had completely faded from his face, and he sat there very seriously. Silence followed, and I'm sure that we all realized how grave this situation was.

I decided it was time for me to speak up, and I asked Koizumi, "So you're saying that if we try to return her to her world that it could upset Haruhi and destroy our world, and that you don't know how we could send her back without that happening."

"Yes, indeed." The smiled returned to his face. I figured he would he absolutely useless. "I'm sure that my counterpart in Kyonko's world has explained the same situation that I had explained to you at this very table regarding Miss Suzumiya, and the amount of power she possesses. I consider you two fortunate, I would very much like to meet my female self." Koizumi began to drift off as he said that.

Before we had the chance to question him further the bell rang, snapping us back to this strange reality.

"Ah, it seems our time is up. I suppose I'll see the two of you later at the clubroom. Have a pleasant afternoon." And with that, Koizumi grabbed his coffee and waltzed back toward the school.

Although I now know why this girl appeared in my bed this morning, Koizumi's explanation had left me with more questions and problems, ones I had hopped to never think about again. Just how many times did I have to be responsible for stopping Haruhi from destroying the world?

That question would have to be answered later; we didn't have any time to waste before class started. As the two of us stood up from the table to head back into the school we heaved a heavy sigh in unison as we looked down at the table to see our ramen reduced to bowls of room temperature paste. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

**Oh man, now Kyon and Kyonko know what's going on, well kind of. I got a few reviews that guessed this already, so I guess it wasn't really a huge surprise, I did kind of state in the first chapter, but anyway moving on. As usual, leave a if you want to let me know what you think, and point out any mistakes that you may find, I've been too lazy to get a beta reader yet. Until next time!**


	4. Disruption

**_Alright, here we are, another chapter, and longer one at that. I ended up pushing back some of what I had planned or this chapter to the next because I didn't want to make it any longer, but I'm happy with how it turned out. Enjoy!_**

* * *

**Chapter IV - Disruption**

The afternoon classes were kind of a blur for me. I usually have a hard enough time trying to pay attention during class, but now this is whole new level. Just trying to process this information was difficult enough.

I know I may seems calm and collected most of the time, but come on, give me a break every now and then. Do you know how stressful it is being told that the fate of the world is in your hands? Sure, if you have experience it should be simple, but that really doesn't comfort me right now. Even if I had once stopped Haruhi from destroying the world, I was hoping it would be a one time deal. It's not something you want to deal with on a daily basis, nor is it something anyone should ever have to deal with.

Yet, here I was again, contemplating that exact matter. Not the thoughts that should be passing through the mind of an average teenage male, but it is still better than thinking like Taniguchi.

Regardless of what I would like to waste time imagining, I had to come up with a way to resolve this situation.

My twin appeared in this world in order to satisfy Haruhi's selfish demands, and because apparently abusing me alone wasn't fun enough anymore. That much I know. I also know that if anything were to happen that would anger and/or upset Haruhi, the world as we know it may be obliterated. As sad as it is to say, nothing out of the ordinary there.

What I don't know is how to send myself back to her proper world without angering Haruhi to the point of cataclysm, or if such a thing is even possible. That is where I'm stuck.

Koizumi has proved to be of no help in solving this puzzle, but that wasn't really a surprise. Come to think of it, no one ever really helps me directly in any of these problems. All I get are vague tips and obscure clues, If I'm lucky I'll get a shining ball of light that calls itself Koizumi to roughly explain the situation before dissipating into nothing. I have always managed to fix things though, so I should be a little more confident, right?

I was able to stop Haruhi from collapsing the world that we know. I was able to stop the endless summer. I was even able to solve Haruhi's disappearance, although the last one was very painful. I should be able to fix this as long as I believe in myself!

Yeah, I wish I could be that naïve. There was going to be nothing easy about this.

I really still needed to get more information on the matter, and I guess Nagato and Miss Asahina, well mainly Nagato could fill me in on what Koizumi couldn't tell me, which was basically anything useful. I could even talk to them both at the clubroom later because Haruhi won't be there!

Hopefully they can tell me what I need to now to get myself back to where she belongs.

I looked across the class to the subject in question, who looked just about as preoccupied as I was. There was really no question to that actually, she is me so naturally she would be thinking the same things that I'm thinking. I should really stop questioning that and just think of it immediately. It's really stupid to question it anyway, why would I not think what I would think?

Thankfully, before I could go any farther down that path, the bell cut through the artificial silence and let us all know that the school day was now over.

I hadn't even taken out my school supplies, so I just grabbed my bag from the floor and walked over to myself.

"Looks like you were thinking about what Koizumi said earlier." I'm not sure why I said that, I already knew the answer. I guess my mind just needed confirmation from itself.

"Yeah, I figured he wouldn't be of much help. Itsuko back in my world is pretty much the same, she can give me some vague and general information, but isn't really of much use for actually solving the problems themselves." She replied with a sour look.

"I guess from that look on your face that Itsuko pisses you off just as much as Koizumi does me."

"I don't think you even need to ask." She answered. "That smile of hers just pushes me over the edge, and the way she gives into all of Haruki's demands without question. I genuinely believe that she does that just to make me look bad in front of him, not that I don't have a hard enough time pleasing him as it is. And she always touches and grabs at me, and thoroughly enjoys it. As sad as it is to admit, that sexual harassment has become a daily part of my life, and I'm simply living with it now..."

Okay, that was too much for me right there. The though of Koizumi and I alone in the clubroom flashed through my mind, it was just us. He was way too close to me, and his hands were… Stop the though! Ah too late!

And there it is, the vision of Koizumi groping me in the clubroom was forever etched into my mind. That's something I could have gone without, now I have to live the rest of my life with that image. Ugh, maybe I should just let Haruhi destroy the world so I can get this appalling thought out of my head…

I felt a great deal of pity for my other self at that moment in time. Sure, I have to live with that as a though, but for her it's reality. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I would rather stick in this world with the Koizumi I know than be subject to that daily." I managed to get out before my stomach began to turn.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." She followed with a sly smile.

Is she teasing me right now?

"What would you do if the Koizumi that you know decided he wanted to get… closer to you?" She continued.

Alright, this has gone from a disturbing image sequence, to a sickening and disgusting conversation that very well might make me vomit if it continues further. I'm not going to let it.

"Okay! Enough of that!" I exclaimed in rage. "Just because you have to put up with that garbage doesn't mean I should!" I decided to change the topic quickly before I realized the flaw in that logic. "Anyway, we should get to the clubroom and ask the others if they know anything else that could help us." I allowed myself some time to cool off. "Koizumi was pretty useless, and I bet that Nagato could answer some of these question, maybe even give us a plan."

That was wishful thinking. I'm not that optimistic.

"Alright then," she smirked, "let's lets get going." She packed up her bag and made for the door.

I had a bad feeling the conversation regarding the tryst between me and Koizumi wasn't over yet.

We took our time getting to the clubroom, there wasn't any need to rush. After all, Haruhi wasn't going to be there. During the leisurely stroll I indulged in some idle conversation, with myself of course.

"Do you think that your disappearance is causing any problems back in your world?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't think so." She continued staring straight forward. "Whenever this kind of crap happens, no one besides from the SOS Brigade members ever seem to notice. Sometimes they don't even know what happened, like when Haruki changed the world so much that there wasn't even an SOS Brigade."

I guess she had to go through the same things that I did when Haruhi made the SOS Brigade disappear. Her world really is the parallel of this one, but with all the genders reversed. Still, the thought of me and Koizumi in that world makes me sick.

"All that I know is that the longer I'm here the harder it will be for me to get back. And if there are any problems in my world they'll only get worse the longer I'm gone. It's not normal, well at least it shouldn't be normal for someone to disappear without a trace. I just hope that I can get back before we run into Haruhi, having to deal with her will only make things that much more difficult."

"Nagato will be able to help us." I shot her a glance. "Maybe she'll even be able to send you back now, or at least tell us what we can do to send you back."

I wasn't sure why I said that. Maybe I just feel that I needed some comforting words right now, but I have a feeling that it didn't work, and the disapproving look she gave me afterwards didn't help.

Regardless of what I said and why I said it, Nagato would be able to give us some more information at the least, and shed more light on these events than Koizumi could. But what was certain was that we needed to clear this mess up before Haruhi found out what has happened. If she were to discover that there was a female version of me in this world, it would be basically impossible to right these wrongs. Even I would give up hope at that point.

What we needed to do now was take advantage of her absence, and find out just what the hell is going on, because I don't think we'll get many more Haruhi-free days anytime soon.

I was still receiving a rather unimpressed look as we were approaching the clubroom. "Let's just see what Nagato has to say about this, okay?"

I opened the door to the clubroom, hoping to get some answers. "Hey Nagato, can I talk to you for a minute, I have some que-"

"Kyon, you're late! That's another penalty! How dare you keep your Brigade leader waiting, and for such an important meeting!"

I was hoping to avoid more penalties from Haruhi- hold on a second. What is she doing here?

Haruhi wasn't in class all morning. There was no sign of her during lunch or in the afternoon, but she just decided to appear in the clubroom all of a sudden? I must be dreaming right now, no, I already determined that makes no logical sense. Then, I'm hallucinating? Is it possible that I just couldn't take it anymore, and I've gone completely insane? I wish.

No this was just an unfortunate reality, and a very problematic one at that.

Haruhi was still rambling on about god knows what, and she hadn't seemed to notice the presence of an extra person yet. Maybe I would get a lucky break for once in my life and get away with this. Nope, too optimistic again.

It took Haruhi a little while to register it, but she broke off mid rant and came to the sudden realization that something was off. You could practically hear the gears in her brain whirring as she notice _ahem _me and determined the significance. The worst part was the frightening smile that spread across her face moments after, that smile was never a good omen.

"I can't believe it Kyon! You brought a new member!" she cried as the launched herself from behind her desk towards the two of us.

As she flew through the air I tried to get out a question, probably "What the hell are you doing here!?", but all that came out was incoherent gibberish, I was at a loss for words.

Haruhi began to question me regarding the _new member_, but I don't remember what she was asking. I calmed myself the best I could before trying my question again. "What the hell are you doing here!?" It came out hysterically this time, but it got my message across as Haruhi turned to face me.

"Geez calm down Kyon. I had an appointment this morning, but those idiots at the clinic messed things up and I had to wait there all day! But that doesn't matter because we have new member!" She announced that last part with way too much enthusiasm, like she just won the lottery or something, but she continued on.

"So Kyon, who is she, your girlfriend?" she asked slyly. "And why didn't you bring her here sooner!?"

I can't believe Haruhi would ask me a question like that, and if I had a girlfriend I definitely wouldn't bring her here of all places. Being part of the SOS Brigade has probably estranged me from the regular world to such a degree that I don't think I'll ever be able to get a girlfriend.

I sighed as I answered her question. "Calm down Haruhi, she my cousin. It's only her first day at this school, and there's absolutely no way that she wants to join this club."

"What are you talking about? She obviously came here to join the club, why else would she have followed you here" By this point she had turned her attention away from me and was getting dangerously close to violating a certain female's personal space.

I wanted to tell her that we came here because she wasn't supposed to be here, but I already knew it would make no difference if I said anything at this point. I looked to the apparent _new member _and saw that she looked just as dejected about the situation as I did, but most of her attention was being put towards stopping Haruhi's assault. There was no way I was going to stand here and watch Haruhi molest me.

"Will you stop touching her!" I yelled. Haruhi looked surprised at first, but I assume the excitement of the situation was too much, and she quickly gathered herself to begin another speech, not even commenting on the whole groping me incident.

"Wow Kyon, I'm surprised you of all people managed to find a new member." Gee thanks. "But you two still have penalties for being late, and you can serve them tomorrow!"

I would have loved to point out that everything Haruhi said was false, about how I was the only one in the club who ever actually does anything, and how I'm the only one who gets penalties, but apparently she had bigger and better things to talk about.

"Well, I've got a lot of work to do before tomorrow then." Haruhi announced. "Meeting's done for today! Everyone be back here tomorrow, and don't forget about your punishment Kyon and…"

She was so excited that she didn't even bother to ask her name, typical Haruhi, no concern for anyone but herself.

I know Haruhi isn't a normal person, but no matter what the situation, when you meet someone new you should ask for their name before doing anything, let alone forcing them to join an obscure club. But now that I think about it, Haruhi never even asked what my name was before roping me into the SOS Brigade, I doubt she even knows what my real name is…

While I was on that mental journey my twin spoke up for the first time during this nonsense with a single word, delivered in the most depressed and grudging voice I've ever heard.

"Kyonko."

"Alright Kyon and Kyonko, be ready for your punishments tomorrow!" She slammed the door as she left, and in the silence of the clubroom I listened as her footsteps faded.

The silence lasted for a while, and I took in what just occurred.

Haruhi was here today and now she has forced the female version of me, someone from a different world or dimension of whatever, to join the club, and has made it basically impossible to return her to where she belongs. Oh, and we have some kind of punishment tomorrow. I don't think this day could have gone any worse.

The silence was broken when I heard a whimper from Miss Asahina standing by the tea set. There had been so much commotion that I didn't even know who was in the clubroom today. I took a quick look around, only to see that nothing was out of the ordinary.

Koizumi was sitting at the table with that damn smile on his face. Was he pleased about what just happened? Was he mocking me? I never wanted to punch that smile off his face so much.

As I said, Miss Asahina was cowering by her tea set. The visuals of Haruhi violating the new arrival probably brought back some unpleasant memories of her own regarding her acquisition by Haruhi.

And as usual, Nagato was sitting in the corner, silently reading her book as if nothing had happened at all.

"Well, I believe you've manage to make Miss Suzumiya quite happy today Kyon and Kyonko, congratulations." Koizumi spoke from his seat.

Like I cared about that at all ass-hole.

"I'll be leaving for today then, will you be joining me Miss Asahina?" Koizumi held out his hand to Miss Asahina, as if he was a gentleman, or something. Disgusting.

"Um, yes, I'll be leaving too." Miss Asahina responded, still obviously shaken, but the two of them got up and left the clubroom without another word.

As they shut the door behind them I hear a monotone voice come from the corner of the room. "9:00 pm tonight."

"Sorry, what was that Nagato?"

"The two of you will meet at my house at 9:00 pm tonight. We will discuss the events of today and their relation to Haruhi Suzumiya and this world."

"Can't we talk about this now?"

"No, 9:00 pm tonight will be fine. Do not be late."

She stood up and left before I had a chance to say anything else. I know she was trying to be helpful, but do we really have to wait until nine to find out what's going on? Come on Nagato, give me a hand will you?

"Well," I turned to the girl beside me, "that couldn't have been much worse, could it?"

"No." Again only a single word in response.

This silence was starting to get awkward, even if I was technically alone, but what could I say? Apparently, she felt the same way, but managed to find something to break the silence.

"I don't want to wait around here any longer, why don't we go get something to eat and then head over to Nagato's place. Besides, I wanted to ask you a few things too."

"Alright, let's go." I had no idea what she wanted to ask me, especially considering we are the same person, but I didn't really care as long as I didn't have to pay for her food.

We chose the cheapest restaurant we could find, and again ordered ramen. We didn't even get to eat ours at lunch, and I was really looking forward to that.

After we placed our orders, I was curious as to what exactly she wanted to ask me about, what would I know that I don't after all?

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, glancing around the building.

"I just wanted to get some facts straight, you know, make sure there aren't any major differences between our worlds that would make things harder than they need to be." This female me seems to plan things ahead better than I do, I wonder why that is?

"Alright, what did you want to know?" I asked turning my attention towards her.

" The first real problem that Haruhi caused for you was when she tried to remake the world right?"

"Yeah." I recalled that time when I was all that stood between Haruhi and the end of our world, it was a very uncomfortable place to be. Kind of like when you have to sit between two people on the bus and they lean towards you when they fall asleep. Except the consequences were much more severe that a bit of drool on your sleeve.

"And I would guess you had to do the same as I did to fix the situation." She shifted a little uncomfortably.

I just sat there silently, I didn't really want to remember how I saved the world because of an awkward kiss with Haruhi Suzumiya. From the look on her face I imagine she felt the same, and decided it was best to move on to the next item on the list.

"So you went through that whole endless summer thing too?" She asked as our ramen was served.

How could I ever forget that. Well in reality I did forget most of it, but I still know that it happened. Living through that one part of summer over 15 000 times, why would anyone want to do that? But this is Haruhi we're talking about.

"Yup, the only way I found to break the cycle was to do our homework. It figures for someone like Haruhi that she actually wanted to do their homework during the summer." I couldn't help but chuckle a little at that.

"We never even got our homework finished, even though we worked all night." She said as she began to laugh with me. "I was kind of hoping that it wouldn't work so I would have time to finish it all."

We both began to laugh harder, I'm not sure why. Repeating the summer 15 000 times shouldn't be something to laugh at, but we both found it funny all the same.

"Haruhi must have forced you guys to make some ridiculous movie for the festival as well then." She added, still laughing.

"Yeah, the whole thing ended up being pretty much one huge advertisement in the end." The movie really shouldn't have been as funny as I thought, the whole ordeal was arduous and life-threatening, but that fact that all Haruhi managed to create was an add for some electronics store made me lose it. "The only reason that anyone watched the movie was because Miss Asahina was promoting all these stores in a bunny suit."

By this point, the female me was laughing hysterically, and added, "That was the same as our movie, except Haruki made me wear all kinds of weird outfits!"

That really drove me over the edge. " HAHAHA! You in costumes!? That must have been hilarious!" Technically I was making fun of myself, but I didn't care.

"What do you mean hilarious?" She sounded angry now. Clearly she wasn't too impressed that I fond that situation funny. "I bet Haruhi got you and Koizumi to all kinds of weird things together to attract a bigger crowd!"

See, I knew that conversation wasn't over, but that was going too far. How could the school possibly condone something like that at their festival anyway, but I guess if our movie was acceptable anything is. Either way, me and Koizumi was just too much, I can't even believe that she can stand to think about that.

I shot and angry glance at her smirking face.

Despite that unpleasant conclusion, we did manage to determine that there were no important differences between the two worlds. It was a new experience to talk to someone who thinks that Haruhi's ideals were as insane as I do, and it was a relief.

"You know I have to say," I began as I started on my ramen. "It's nice to be able to talk with someone who thinks the same way that I do, Kyonko.

"I feel the same, Kyon." She started eating too.

We finished our meal with some more recollections of Haruhi's escapades, namely her disappearance and the murder mystery island before we headed off to Nagato's house. Hopefully she would be able to give us some more answers, but regardless of that, I will sleep tonight knowing that I had the most typical and average conversation I have had in a long time today. And with none other than Kyonko.

* * *

**_I think Kyon's job just got a lot harder eh? Anyway, as usual, leave a review if you feel like it, and please point out any errors in orthography that you may find. I haven't had any time to find a beta reader still, but if anyone is willing to fill that spot please let me know! So in conclusion, stay tuned, the next chapter will answer all the questions about Kyonko and her position in this world._**


	5. Revelation II

**Well, hello everyone, it's been a little while hasn't it? I apologize if anyone was waiting in suspense for this chapter to come out, but after the last release my life got pretty busy, and I couldn't find any time to finalize this chapter ever thought I wanted to so bad! Anyway, here it is, and I hope it was worth the wait!**

* * *

**Kyonko's Diary - Entry II**

_I know I always say that Haruki makes my life hard. Harder than anyone else could. I believed that for a very long time, until today that is. I think I have found someone who has managed to make my life more difficult than that stubborn dictator._

_That person would be Haruhi Suzumiya._

_I'm not really sure if this counts as someone else, (because they are the same person) but I'm gonna go with it like this. Haruki has not made the challenges of my new life as difficult as Haruhi has, so she takes the blame here. Although I'm sure Haruki would have done the same given the chance…_

_Regardless of whether neither or both should take the blame for what happened to me, what should be taken out of it all is that for me to return to my world it's going to take nothing short of a miracle._

_I thought I'd already experienced everything that Haruki could throw at me, but I hadn't taken into account that his female counterpart would want me in her world, but you really can't blame me for that. Most of what Haruki and/or Haruhi does cannot be explained in a rational manner, and this is a whole step above that, so, good luck._

_The only person I know who could put any of this into order would be Nagato. Hopefully she can clear up this mess, and I can be back home before the day is done, but I doubt it. We'll probably have to go through some pretty heavy shit to make Haruhi forget that I was ever here, or to not want me here anymore. _

_I have a feeling that last one will be next to impossible though. I've voiced my displeasure regarding the SOS Brigade many times to Haruki, but no matter what I say I'm still accepted there, so why should this be any different?_

_Putting that all aside, I've actually found it kind of comforting to have a rational and, well, sane person to talk to through all of this. Even if that other person is essentially me._

_That brings up another question though, is he really me?_

_Sure we're technically the same person, we have the same parents, same preferences, same house, hell, even the same lives, but can we say that we exist only as one person?_

_I say no, based on a single fact. We are both here right now. How can that be possible if we are a single being?_

_I think he was kind of confused at first too, but he called me by name during dinner tonight, so I think he's come to the same realization._

_I don't know if it's right to think like this because under any normal circumstances I should never have seen this world, let alone be thrust into it, but for simplicities sake, I'll think of him as someone else, as Kyon._

_I know I shouldn't use his nickname, considering how much I complain about mine, but if I have to deal with it he should too._

_Back to the problem at hand; I would like to return to my world as soon as I can,as strange as that sounds, but I do miss my own life back there. It wasn't much different than what I'd have here, but it's the little things I'd miss the most._

_Despite that, there are things from here I would miss, well only one thing really. It sounds weird, but I would miss Kyon. Sure, it's just like missing myself, but having an actual other person for company, one who isn't insane, an alien, a smug esper, an obscure time traveler, or Taniguchi is pretty much impossible for me. Having someone who understands what I deal with is nice, and I'd be sad to see him go._

_Hold on, I have to add another thing to that "list of what I would miss". I like that in this world Koizumi can't molest me without being charged with sexual assault. But that opens the door for Haruhi do it… That could be the end of me. I really shouldn't have to deal with either of them though, but based on Haruhi's tendencies, I think I would grudgingly take Itsuko in the end. I really do hate her..._

_Anyway, that about sums it up, I said miss may too many time didn't I?_

* * *

**Chapter V - Revelations II**

It would be kind of sad to see the only sane company I've known for a while now leave, even if it is me.

I haven't known her very long, okay technically I have, but you get the idea. Anyways, I've lived my life this past while surrounded by all manner of madness that would make any normal person lose it. I've dealt with time travelers, espers, aliens, giant monsters trying to destroy the world, and most challenging of all, Haruhi Suzumiya.

Ever since I had my unfortunate encounter with her on that first day of high-school, I haven't been able to have a normal conversation or a typical high-schoolers day if my life depended on it. Even when it seemed like Haruhi had gained some sense of normalcy by deciding to take a group trip to that island in the summer, we ended up getting stranded there because of that damn typhoon. And as if that wasn't enough, the whole thing was just a detective game put together to keep Haruhi occupied. The lengths that these people will willingly go just to satisfy Haruhi's desires are ridiculous. Okay, the typhoon may not have been entirely Haruhi's fault- actually it could have been... Sometime I think it would be better just to let the world end and start over. Maybe we'd end up with a more benevolent ruler than Haruhi.

But no matter how may times these thoughts cross my mind, I know I don't actually believe any of it. If I had wanted any of it to happen, it would have by now. I had the opportunity to let the world start anew, but I chose to keep this one, because I like the world the way it is. Despite all of the crazy things that happen to me, I have to admit that my life if far more interesting than it was before I met Haruhi, and that's not entirely a bad thing.

That aside, it shouldn't stop me from returning Kyonko to her proper world. Even if she and I get along, and would probably be able to help one another deal with Haruhi in the future, she doesn't belong here, and I'm sure that if she were to stay it would cause more trouble than it would be worth.

I thought about it all as we approached Nagato's apartment, and judging by her silence she was thinking the same. We will both miss each other's company, but we also both know that this mess has to be resolved as soon as possible, before her presence makes too much of an impact on this world.

"So what do you make of all this?"

A voice jolted me out of my trance.

"Sorry, what was that?" I responded trying to figure out what she had said.

"I mean what do you think of this whole situation?" She asked again.

I shrugged, "I don't know. Probably the same as you." I said with a smile.

"Very funny. But seriously, why do you think, out of all people, Haruhi brought _me_ here?" She finished as she turned to look into the distance.

"Well she obviously brought you here because she wanted more members for the SOS Brigade, we know that already." I looked off into the distance, trying to find what she found so interesting. "As to why you specifically are here, your guess is as good as mine. The way I see it now, there's no real reason why you were chosen, but I know better than that. You being here is not just a coincidence. Knowing Haruhi, she had reason to bring you here, and while her reasoning may not make sense to you, me, or the rest of the world, it makes perfect sense to her. All in all, I have no idea why Haruhi chose you, but what I do know is that if you stay here any longer you'll have some serious problems if she figures out what she wanted you for in the first place."

"That's interesting." She said still gazing straight ahead.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I turned my head to face her.

"Even though we're supposed to be the same person, it's interesting to see that our minds work a little differently." Her gaze did not falter. "I guess it's because you're a guy."

"I guess so." I turned my attention back to our course and spotted Nagato's building just ahead. "What will you do if you can't make it back to your world?"

"I won't have much of a choice if that happens will I? Even though it would suck to be stuck here, I don't think it would be all bad."

"Why's that?" I asked, half knowing the answer already. I stopped walking.

"Well for one, I don't have to deal with Itsuko." She stopped walking and looked back over her shoulder. "And it's nice to talk to someone who understands my situation, Kyon."

She faced forward again, and approached the entrance to the apartment. I smiled, "I feel exactly the same, Kyonko."

* * *

"Come in." The unmistakable robotic voice called just as I was about to knock on the door.

I opened the door to the apartment and took a quick look around. Nothing different at all. I know that Nagato isn't a human and obviously as a result has no need for certain human essentials, but her apartment still seems too empty, even sterile. Whenever I walk into this room I don't know what to expect, and I feel a little nervous, like I'm not sure whether or not I'll be able to believe what I'm about to hear or experience, and that's saying something coming from me.

"Sit down." She spoke again.

The two of us sat down opposite her at the table. I gazed out the panoramic window to my left. The entire city was alight, but from here it didn't look just like city lights, for some reason, they seemed like something more, something unknown and mysterious.

While I was preoccupied with my philosophic view of the city, Nagato and Kyonko were just sitting there in silence.

There's nothing out of the ordinary about that though. Nagato doesn't tend to speak unless she has to. No matter whether it's this world or the Kyonko's, I'm sure it makes no difference, and I'm also sure that Kyonko is used to that.

But we didn't come here so I could contemplate existence and city lights, it was time to get to business.

"So, Nagato, I guess you already know why we're here." I turned to face her.

"Yes. You have questions regarding the appearance of the human known as Kyonko and it's relevance to Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Yeah. We know that Kyonko was brought here because Haruhi wanted more members, but we don't know why she was chosen specifically, or how we can send her back to her own world, especially now that Haruhi has met her."

"That is incorrect."

Well that was kind of... blunt. Nagato, I know whatever you're thinking makes sense to you right now, but I think I'm going to need a bit more information.

"What do you mean?" I decided to ask instead.

"While it is true that Kyonko appeared in this world as a result of Haruhi Suzumiya's desire for more club members, and that there is a parallel world to our in which you are a female with the same behavioral patterns as Kyonko, the two are not one and the same."

Kyonko and I sat there silent, trying to process what we had just heard. This is going to take some time. "Is there a way to send her back to her proper world?" I asked.

"You misunderstand. It is not possible to send her to another world, because she does not come from another world." Nagato voiced expressionlessly.

"Hold on a second!' Kyonko said as she dropped her hands to the table. "What do you mean _I don't come from a different world_, of course I do!"

"As I said," Nagato began again, "while there is a world running parallel to ours where you do exist as you do here, you are not her nor is she you. You share the same preferences, behaviour, DNA, essentially everything between the two of you is identical, but you are not the human from that world. You are an entity, a replica of that human created by Haruhi Suzumiya, and introduced into this world. You are an embodiment, a manifestation of the mind of that human in this world. Therefore, it is impossible to send you to that world, because it is not where you originated from, and you have no physical connection to that world at all."

I gasped and remained silent, trying to process the information. What does she mean they're not the same, she's an entity? How does this all tie together?

"Bu… but, that's not possible!" Kyonko exclaimed as she bolted upright. "I remember being in that world with Haruki, and Itsuko, and you as a boy! I remember it all."

"You were created by Haruhi Suzumiya to be an exact replica of the human being in that world, you will have the same feelings, reactions, even the same memories as that human being. You are identical to that human being up to the day that you were placed into this world. You will remember everything as if you had experienced it first hand, and while I am uncertain of the exact time you appeared in this world, I can estimate within an allowance of 48.9 seconds that your physical body is no more that 13.87 hours old."

This is unbelievable. Kyonko was created by Haruhi just to be a new member? She's only 13 hours old? And if she doesn't come from another world, will she be stuck here?

"How do you know this?" She sighed.

"I have analyzed the data emitted by both you and the life form from which you're information was copied. While the sample share numerous similarities and congruencies, the reversal of certain samples of data lead me to believe that the likelihood of replication or duplication is very high. By continual analysis of the emissions of data from in parallel, I was also able to conclude that there was no change in their patterns, confirming the hypothesis that the human Kyonko continues to exist and inhabit that world."

"So.. does this mean that, because I don't come from any other world, that I'll be stuck here forever." She asked with a pleading expression.

"I cannot say for certain, but it is very plausible." Nagato answered.

"Wait," I spoke up, "the only reason Haruhi created Kyonko was because she wanted more members for the SOS Brigade, right? Wouldn't it be easier to just get someone else to join, and if she did have to create someone, why her?"

"It is true that Kyonko was created to satisfy Haruhi Suzumiya's desire for a new club member. It is also true that it would have required much less energy to have had a preexisting human being join the club. I am uncertain why Haruhi Suzumiya chose to create Kyonko to become the sixth member of the SOS Brigade, but I can speculate it is related to her relationship with you. While the human here is a replica of Kyonko from a parallel world, she is also the female variant of you. It is likely that Haruhi Suzumiya desires more humans such as yourselves for reasons which I cannot fully comprehend at the current moment."

Well that's a comforting thought, apparently Haruhi isn't satisfied just berating and degrading me, so she needs more me's to level the playing field...

"For the time being, I would recommend a course of action with much regard to the state of Haruhi Suzumiya. Her mental state at this point in time will be fragile, as she is in great anticipation of what is to come with relevance to Kyonko. If anything were to happen that would disrupt her mental state, the results could be catastrophic."

"Nagato," I began hesitantly, dreading what was to come, "when you say _catastrophic_ do you mean Haruhi would destroy the world?"

"That is correct." She stated bluntly.

"That's what I thought…"

"Well, now that I'm stuck here, what am I supposed to do? Won't people find it weird that I just shwoed up all of a sudden?" Kyonko pleaded, but I think she knew what the answer would be at this point.

"I would recommend that you resume your life as if you were in reality Kyon's cousin. It is not possible that humans will discover that you are a machination of Haruhi Suzumiya, and humans such as family members will have memories generated to confirm your existence."

By now I was feeling a great deal of pity for her, and myself. I've gone through some pretty intense situations, but for her I think this is far worse than anything I've gone through. She shows up in my room this morning having no idea where she is or why she's here, now she finds out that the only reason she even exists is to make Haruhi happy. I think that would ruin my day too.

"Do you think my being here in this world will create any problems?" She asked, grudgingly accepting the situation at hand.

"I do not know, but as I said, others will not find your presence strange. As long as the metal state of Haruhi Suzumiya is considered, it is unlikely that any large difficulties will be encountered." As Nagato finished her lengthy, and mind-numbing revelations she stood up from the table. I guess that means our time is up.

She walked over to the door, opened it and turned to face us again.

"Have a good night." She said.

* * *

The walk back from Nagato's apartment was quiet, very quiet. It wasn't an awkward quiet but it was still quiet. We didn't really have much to talk about anyway, but I still felt like I had to make sure that things weren't going to get any worse than they already were. I do have a sense of responsibility here. Everyone thinks than Kyonko is my cousin, and whether I like it or not, that's how things are going to be for as long as I can see.

"So, now that you're going to stay here, what are you going to do?" I asked, looking over to her.

"Well, I really don't have a choice do I?" She responded matter-of-factly. "I'm stuck in this world whether I like it or not, and I guess that's just how it's gonna be." She finished as I opened the door to my… well, our house.

"Kyon! Kyonko, you're home!" My little sister screeched as we walked into the house. "Why were you two out so late?" She asked as she ran up to us.

"We were out with some friends for dinner, and now were going to bed, goodnight." Was all I said as I began climbing the stairs leaving my sister with a puzzled look on her face.

* * *

"You're sister's so cute Kyon." Kyonko said as she walked back into the room in her pajamas.

"You're the last person I would ever expect to say that, but trust me, you'll get over it soon. Now go to sleep, I'm exhausted after what happened today." I yawned and rolled over in my bed.

"Hold on there! Who says you get the bed!?" She began pushing on me, it was a feeble and fruitless attempt.

"This is my house, and this is my bed. I think that's reason enough, besides, you were sleeping here this morning, that means it's my turn." I rolled further into the bed, hoping she would give up.

"Well I'm the guest in this house, you should be a little more hospitable." She was still trying to get me out of the bed. "Besides, I'm stuck here forever now, you should cut me some slack."

"I never get any breaks from all this shit I have to put up with from the SOS Brigade, so why should I give you any? Now goodnight." I rolled over a final time, up against the wall now.

"Hmm, I hope you don't mind sharing then." She pouted.

What does she mean by that? I then felt myself shift on the bed, as more weight was added to the other side. Oh, that's what she means.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I rolled over groggily to face her.

Eyes closed and breathing lightly, our faces were way to close together.

"There's no way I'm sleeping on the floor, and this bed has enough room for both of us." She said, eyes still closed. "Now stop talking, I thought you said you were tired."

I never thought that it would be this difficult to deal with myself…

"Whatever, just stay on your side of the bed." I mumbled and turned back over.

I lay there for a long time, long after I heard her steady and soft breathing begin. I can't believe she fell asleep so easily after what we went through today. I can't even believe all of that happened today!

Of all the things the SOS Brigade and Haruhi in particular have put me through, I think, no I don't even need to think, this without any doubt is by the strangest.

But maybe I shouldn't make such a huge deal of this. Looking on the positive side, now I have someone to have normal conversation with, someone who can relate with all the crazy things that damn Haruhi forces me to do.

I have someone else in the SOS Brigade to help with all of the grunt work, so I won't have to haul everything around by myself anymore.

She doesn't care what she eats, so I don't have to feel bad if I just want to go to a ramen place.

It might take a little while getting used to living with her, especially if she wants to keep sleeping in my bed… but that's the least of my worries regarding this situation. Despite all the complaining I've done today, given what we know now and what we have to do, I think this is going to turn out just fine.

Man, I'm in serious danger of becoming an optimist...

* * *

**So there it is, after nearly three months it's all out in the open. Again I apologize for the absurdly long period of inactivity, but I promise that won't happen again! Updates will be more regular now, I'm not going to set a specific timeframe, but ****I can assure you that it will be well under two months until the next chapter As always, leave a comment or review if you have enjoyed the story up to this point, and I'll see you again soon!**


	6. Initiation

**Well, here I am, back for another instalment. I kept my promise this time, didn't make you guys make quite two months... just a few days shy. It's already been _nearly _two months, so without any further delay, Chapter VI.**

* * *

**Kyonko's Diary - Entry III**

_I really don't know what to think of what happened today. Let me break it down:_

_I wake up in someone else's bed, he claims to be me, we find out we're the same person. Eh, I've had worse_

_We go to school like nothing happened; Koizumi gives us some half-assed explanation that really doesn't help us at all. Nothing new there._

_We go to the clubroom, Haruhi shows up out of nowhere, assaults me, and ruins my day. Again, same old, same old._

_We go over to Nagato's house to hopefully get some useful information about how I can get back to my world. She tells us that I'm essentially a newborn, and that I'm stuck here forever. That's where I think I'm going to have to draw the line._

_But what can I do about it, nothing? Am I just supposed to accept the facts?_

'_Never mind, I'll just stay here for the rest of my life.' Something like that?_

_At this point though, there's nothing I can think of that will be of any use. I'm not from this world, the other world, or any world really. And I guess because this is where I ended up, this is where I'm going to stay._

_I really shouldn't complain all that much though, at least I ended up in a half-decent world. For all I know I could have ended up in some post-apocalyptic timeline, or a world where people speak in quotes from bad sitcoms. That would have been hell…_

_Where I am right now isn't so bad. I have a roof over my head, and I can just keep living my life like I remember, for the most part at least._

_On the bright side, I can talk to Kyon about whatever I want, meaning normal non-weird things, unlike in the SOS Brigade. Having him around will definitely make my life easier and more sane._

_I just hope I won't have to fight him for the bed all the time, and how come I can't get my own room here? I'm supposed to be his cousin who's gonna live here for what I can call the foreseeable future, so I think I'm entitled to my own room, but that's just a minor inconvenience. I think I'll make it just fine in this world, forgoing any more comments by that pig Taniguchi or sexual assault from Haruhi that is._

* * *

**Chapter VI - Initiation**

What do you do when you find out that you're stuck in a place you probably never wanted to be in the first place, and have absolutely no hope of ever leaving?

That's pretty much a rhetorical question in my opinion; what else can you do but accept it? Sure you could resent it for the rest of your life, but that would just make things even harder to deal with, and I'm not sure how much more hardship I can endure.

Acceptance, while it may not be what you want, it is what you need, and in the end is the only course of action that will lead you to come to terms with your new reality. Which can't be a bad thing, especially given Kyonko's case as a prime example.

Despite the sheer insanity and general stupidity of the situation her and I now find ourselves in, she has been handling herself well, and from what I can see has pretty much adjusted to this world. Ever since Nagato dropped that bomb on us earlier this week about how she was just created by Haruhi on a whim to satiate her hunger for more club members, she's just been going about her day to day business. And by that or course I mean everything that I would normally do, with a few tweaks.

Just the standard boredom in class, the longing for lunch, and she's been able to give Koizumi a run for his money in some games back in the SOS Brigade clubroom. Speaking of which, it's WAY more fun to have someone other than Koizumi to play with now (yeah, don't even go there), that smug unchanging look on his face just makes me want to punch something.

With the week now coming to a close, on our way to the clubroom, I was really looking forward to spending just a normal week end with a normal person, quite a luxury for someone like me. But I really should have known better than that.

The moment we stepped into that room, the two of us were greeted with a far too enthusiastic Haruhi, and given that fact that weekend was on it's way, that could only mean one thing.

"New mission!"

"Huh?" Kyonko and I stared at Haruhi with only the blankest of expressions.

"You two heard me!" She continued with the same enthusiasm. "The SOS Brigade has a new mission tomorrow!" She pointed up to the ceiling, and held a strangely heroic pose.

I let out the usual sigh and made my way to the nearest chair. Kyonko had long since abandoned all hope and was already seated. "Well that's great and all," I said as I plunked myself down at the table, "but what exactly are we going to be doing?"

"There's supposed to be a magic show tomorrow, and it is the duty of the SOS Brigade to investigate any possible supernatural events!" Haruhi proclaimed as she climbed down off of the desk.

"And how exactly did you find out about this magic show?"

"Someone posted the event on the SOS Brigade website." She announced proudly.

Did someone seriously manage to stumble across that site? I can't believe that anyone would be able to find it let alone explicitly look for it with the intention of actually using it for it's intended purposes.

"Koizumi has all the information about the event, right?" Haruhi asked as the turned her attention towards the smile with a body.

"Yes I do." He began. "The show will be taking place in the shopping district tomorrow afternoon, beginning at 1:00 pm."

"Perfect, you just scored some more points with your brigade leader. Kyon, how come you don't have any information ready for me?" Haruhi questioned.

Does she really think that I would be able to get information regarding an even I didn't even know about until 45 seconds ago? Of course she does, but that doesn't change the fact that it's completely unreasonable.

Following my lack of response Haruhi let out a grunt and carried on with her orders. "Tomorrow will be Kyonko's first outing as an SOS Brigade member, so I expect her to be in top form!" She shot her a glaring smile, and I can imagine that she was only too excited to hear that.

"I'll be looking forward to it." She responded in a tone of voice comparable to Nagato's.

"Great!" Haruhi exclaimed as she took her position back atop the desk. "Now everybody meet at the train station at noon tomorrow, and don't be late or there'll be a penalty!"

* * *

With my dreams of a relaxing weekend now completely and utterly shattered, I found myself, in company with Kyonko, making our way to the train station an hour early. Hopefully arriving that far ahead of time would ensure that we wouldn't have to face any type of punishment from our benevolent leader.

"It's been a while since we had our last outing. Though I can't say I was hoping we would have another one anytime soon." I said as I attempted to shield my eyes from the blazing Sun. If Haruhi is so all mighty and powerful why doesn't she do something about this heat, a nice breeze would feel pretty good right about now…

"You're telling me." Kyonko sighed as she pulled on her shirt to try and cool herself down. "Every time Haruki would drag us out on one of his operations it would basically mean that I get another ridiculous outfit. It would have been nice just to buy some normal clothes every now and again."

"I wouldn't get your hopes up yet." I said as walked onto the platform. "Haruhi just might have something special planned for you. It's not everyday we get a new member you know."

"Don't you think that this little outing of ours is enough?" She asked.

"Well, maybe you're right, but knowing Haruhi, I can imagine there's going to be something strange in store later. I can only hope not for your sake though." I answered as I looked through the rack full of cheap sunglasses, hoping to find something that will save my eyesight for the day.

Kyonko let out a grunt of approval and sat down on the bench nearby. "What exactly is this magic show we're going to anyway? Haruhi didn't really give us that much information yesterday, although I guess that's like her."

"Koizumi gave me this flyer yesterday." I handed her the flyer. "To me it just looks like some corny magic show for kids or something." I tried on another pair of sunglasses, they were even cheaper that the last pair.

"Man are you right." She said as she looked through the ad. "This looks like some kids birthday party show or something. Balloons, spoons, cups and balls, I hope Haruhi doesn't have high expectations for this thing."

"Well, I think we should just prepare to face the wrath of Haruhi very shortly." I handed over my ¥ 400 for the sunglasses. "I still can't believe that someone would even leave a message on the SOS Brigade website. I mean, why would anyone even look for it in the first place?" I finished as I sat down beside her.

I heard a suppressed laugh come from my right. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Are you really going to wear those things all day?" She said pointing and my sunglasses while still trying to stifle her laughter.

"Yeah, is there something wrong with that?"

After that any attempts at quelling the laughter were lost as she burst out in hysterical laughter and doubled over clutching her stomach. I just let out a sigh and turned away form her. Attempting to ignore the raucous laughter, I spotted a familiar figure approaching our bench.

"Hey Nagato." I greeted her with a wave.

"Good morning. What does she find amusing?" She asked looking past me at Kyonko who was still having a hard time not disturbing the entire population.

"She thinks there's something funny with my sunglasses."

Nagato only stared in silence for a few seconds. "They do not suit you."

Well that was blunt.

"Good morning Kyon, Kyonko, Nagato." A voice called from just off the platform.

I turned to see Koizumi and Miss Asahina approaching.

"Hello everyone." Miss Asahina said politely.

"Morning you two." I replied as Kyonko finally began to calm down.

"My my, you three are here rather earlier this morning aren't you? And it seems like you're enjoying yourselves without us. What's so funny?" Koizumi asked.

"Don't even ask." I answered and turned my attention away from him.

"His sunglasses." Nagato spoke.

Dammit Nagato, can't you back me up here?

"Good morning SOS Brigade!" The cry echoed through the station as none other than Haruhi Suzumiya marched onto the platform. She took a quick look around, noticing that everyone was already present. I think she was kind of disappointed that she didn't get to give me penalty, but what are you going to do Haruhi, I'm here.

"Alright SOS Brigade! The show starts in exactly one hour and 15 minutes." She said authoritatively, hands on hips. "Is everything prepared Koizumi?"

"Yes Miss Suzumiya, we are set to go." Koizumi smiled back.

"Okay! SOS Brigade, move out!"

As we all began to _move out _Koizumi held me by the shoulder. "You know, I believe that Miss Nagato was right about those sunglasses." He snickered and turned away.

Okay, now I have no choice but to loose these damn things, even if I have to trade my eyesight for them. There's no way in hell I'm going to let Koizumi make fun of me.

* * *

As we arrived at the site of the so-called extravaganza, I would hardly call what greeted us to be a throng of excited spectators. What we did see however was a small gathering of mothers, fathers and their five-year-old children, and us of course. I don't think my sister would have come to this…

Haruhi however was wide-eyed and genuinely excited, probably more so than all of the children there.

I leaned over towards Kyonko, "Any bets on how long Haruhi will last before she looses it?"

"I'm with you on that one Kyon. She'll be done not long after the guy's done introducing himself." She said.

There was some rustling of the curtains and we heard Haruhi cry out, "Look, look, here he comes!" The childlike look of anticipation in her eyes growing only greater.

A feeble round of applause broke out as the unfortunate subject of Haruhi's scrutiny walked out onto the stage. A man, probably in his forties, with a beard, and wearing a discolored and stained looking cloak presented himself to the audience, of which Haruhi was leading the cheer.

"He… Hello everyone, and um, that you all for coming." He began as the applause slowly and painfully died off. "Um, I just want to star with, that, I have the wrong day. I thought that it was tomorrow, but it's today so I'm not quite ready. But the show must go on."

Well, this train looks like it's derailed rather early.

The man held his hands up beside one another and looked as if he was grasping the air. "Now these rings are steel, or chrome, or you know, any shiny metal." He spoke. "Can you sir verify that these rings are in fact unbreakable? If… If they were here." He looked to a child in the audience for an answer.

The child just looked around a little before his mother gave the pseudo-magician a dejected nod.

"Okay." He continued. "Now, there is nothing up my sleeve." He then violently jerked his hands apart and looked across the crowd for approval. "Okay well, it would have looked like the rings were together, and then I pulled them apart, and It would have looked rea… really cool."

The audience was shocked into silence, or bored out of their minds. Either way they weren't making much noise, besides the muttering amongst the parents about whether or not the man was somewhat inebriated, or in need of serious medical attention.

"Um, okay, for my next trick, I will be performing the mystical cone of newspaper!" He picked up a piece of newspaper rolled into a cone (what a surprise) and a pitcher of milk. "Now, stare in gazemazement, as I pour this entire glass of white milk, into this cone of newspaper!"

He poured the milk into the cone, which then proceeded to do… absolutely nothing. He remained quiet for a few moments until the milk began to drip out of the bottom of the cone. "Um… does anyone remember what this is supposed to do?"

Kyonko and I looked at each other with the same exasperated expression on our faces and hear Haruhi yell, "Who the hell does this guy think he is!?"

And as the man placed the soggy newspaper full of warm milk on the sidewalk, and pulled out a bag of long balloons, for once in my life, I agreed with Haruhi.

"For my third act, I will be making this balloon into a snake." He said as he began to inflate his balloon with a bicycle pump.

"Come on SOS Brigade, we're going to eat lunch!" a very unhappy Haruhi announced, and began to make her way down the street.

We all followed suit, and heard the last of the act fade away as we made our way down the road.

"Okay, now this next one is a lotus root…"

* * *

"How dare that man call himself a magician!" Haruhi proclaimed from her seat at the head of table, although at this point she was standing on the chair. "I can't believe that I wasted my time to go and see that!" She took her seat again and began to eat at a ridiculous pace.

You know that you wasted everyone else times too, right Haruhi?

"I'm gonna give whoever sent us that message a piece of my mind! Who sent it anyway Koizumi?" Haruhi looked up from her trough to question the esper.

"Unfortunately, Miss Suzumiya, the message that was left was anonymous, and there is mo way of tracing the source of the message." Koizumi smiled.

"Kyon!" Haruhi bellowed, "How come we can't trace whoever sent the message?"

"How am I supposed to know?" I responded.

"Well you're the one who made the website, you should know these kinds of things."

"I only made the website because you told me to! I have no idea how to trace a message that someone left. Maybe Nagato can help with that one."

Haruhi let out a disproving grunt and went back to devouring her meal. "Kyon's paying for lunch, so eat up everybody!"

"What!? Why do I have to pay?" I asked utterly mortified.

"It's punishment for being late last week, and for talking back to your brigade leader!" Haruhi said between bites.

Boy do I love the weekend…

It wasn't long after, we were walking down the street, and all the food, and my money, was gone.

"Ah!" Haruhi let out a satisfied sigh. "I fell a lot better now."

I'm glad that a full stomach and an empty wallet can please you so much.

"Okay, onto the next task for the day!" She turned on her heels and pointed at Kyonko. "We need to find you a new costume!"

"What! Me!?" Kyonko gasped.

"Yeah, It's part of your initiation!" Haruhi replied. "And I know exactly where to go, come on!" She grabbed Kyonko's hand and dragged her off down the street.

I head some screaming as we followed, and watched Haruhi pull Kyonko into a questionable looking store just up ahead. I guess I was right, she did have something in store after all.

The plethora of strange outfits that greeted us upon arrival was uncanny. It was like stepping into the closet of some overzealous otaku.

What kind of person shops at a place like this? The though was brief, and I found my answer when I looked over to Haruhi who was pulling around a terrified Kyonko.

"Here we are, this one's perfect!" Haruhi yelled out, as she dragged Kyonko off to the nearest changing room.

"Haruhi wait! You don't need to come in with me, I can do it myself" I head Kyonko yell from behind the door.

"It's okay, just take your clothes off, come on hurry up!" Some struggling ensued, and I decided to back away from the door for a bit.

I took a quick look around and noticed a maid costume that looked very familiar.

"Hmm, this must be where Haruhi bought that costume for Miss Asahina…" I turned my head to see if I could find the time traveler, and found her cowering in a corner with her hands over her head. I guess the though of being forced into another outfit by Haruhi really hits hard, and I can imagine why…

"Excuse me Kyon," I head Koizumi say, "what do you think of this?"

"What are you talking aboooooouuut!" To say that I was shocked would have been an understatement. I turned and saw before me, Itsuki Koizumi standing there in some white one-piece pantsuit thing with an absurdly large collar, and strings dangling from the cuffs and waist.

"What the hell is that!?"

"Just an outfit I'm considering." He gave himself a look over in the mirror.

Yeah, you would consider that, weirdo.

"I can't believe that you want me to wear this…" I head muffled from the change room

"Come on, it looks great! Now let's show everyone else!" Haruhi cried as she pushed Kyonko through the curtain.

She stumbled out from behind the curtain in an outfit that bore quite a resemblance to Miss Asahina's soba serving costume.

Hair tied on both sides with red ribbons.

Short sleeves with red cuffs.

Short red skirt.

White apron.

I couldn't help but laugh at the situation.

"Yeah yeah, go ahead, laugh it up Kyon…" She said as she crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.

"Well, I think it looks lovely Kyonko." Said Koizumi, still in his _outfit, _that creep.

"Yeah, it looks really cute!" Added Miss Asahina, it seems this was enough to get her to snap out of her trauma.

"Forget cute! She looks sexy in that outfit!" Exclaimed Haruhi as she emerged and latched onto Kyonko. "Between her and Mikuru, we have all the bases covered now."

I hoped that the meaning of that comment slipped by Kyonko unnoticed, but judging by the look on her face, it didn't.

Despite that fact that I did laugh I had to admit, she did look really cute in that costume.

"Okay now let's move on to the final task of the day!" Haruhi announced with renewed vigour. "Because the magic show was a bust, we're gonna break up into teams and search the city ourselves!"

Well, I was hoping that we'd never have to do this again, but as long as I don't get stuck with Haruhi, I can just go and relax somewhere until we have to meet up again.

"Koizumi and Yuki will come with me, and Mikuru, Kyon and the rookie will go together. Now move out!"

"Hold on a second!" Kyonko interjected. "Let me get changed first!"

"Oh, you won't need those." Said Haruhi as she grabbed Kyonko's clothes.

"You mean you want me to wear this around in public?" She asked horrified.

"Of course It's part of your initiation! Now let's go everyone, leave no question unanswered and no stone unturned."

* * *

**You know, I wonder where Kyon get's all this money that Haruhi forces him to spend all the time...I just hope he's not getting himself deep in dept, but I guess that's now up to me in the end! Anyways, I'm going to stop making promises about how long there'll between updates, even if it is the Summer, because I feel like I may not keep them,but don't worry, the story will updated, I'm just not sure exactly when. Working full-time can really put a dent in your writing time, but I will persevere! As usual, leave a review if you have anything to say, and thanks for stopping by! **


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